I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
