do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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