What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
