My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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