i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize