I need help removing her.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize