Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
