Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize