Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
