I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
His nipple licking is glorious
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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