are you so shy because you have an std?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
