I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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