Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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