So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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