Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
