Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
