She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Randomize
