well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
