I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
