I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
