everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
