Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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