I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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