you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize