I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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