Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
