Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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