you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
