I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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