kristin has been a bad kristin
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
