he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
