I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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