I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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