I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
its not stalking. its research.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
