we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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