Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
