One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
