There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
