Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
