; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
