Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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