okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
