U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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