I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize