I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
