So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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