already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
