Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
