this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
