Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
