Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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