yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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