So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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