GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
