Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
