i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
