dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
