Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
