i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We left the knife in your bed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize